Werewolves of Akatsuki
by 13 Iiya-Mikomi 13
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki is declared criminally insane, and escapes from Konoha. When his enemies become his friends, and his friends his enemies, how will he deal with the damage? AU, OOC, and shonen-ai, or gayness. Whichever. Akatsuki plays a major role.
1. Ch1

**Erutan nature**

**FANFIC!!!!!**

Darkness spread across his vision, everything turning hazy with rain, but he had to move on. He couldn't, no, he _wouldn't_, stay in Konoha any longer. The council had branded him criminally insane, a danger to the village. That had happened weeks ago, and he just managed to escape. He needed to keep going… the gates were straight ahead…

'_NO_!' he cried in his mind as he slipped. '_I will not go back!!_' He picked himself off the hard, wet ground and started forward again. He put every last ounce of strength into making it out of the gates. He then jumped onto a tree branch and ran until he fell.

Naruto Uzumaki has just become a missing Nin.

One startled Itachi Uchiha looked up from the rabbit he had just killed.

'_Chakra. Familiar chakra at that._' He transformed, tied the rabbit to his belt, and set off in the direction of the chakra. (What?! Like hell he was just going to leave it here! He worked hard to kill that stupid thing!!) Itachi started to move quicker. He could smell the blood in the air, and the chakra signal, while staying stationary, had begun to weaken.

'_Blood. And lots of it. Whoever's chakra that is must be dead or dying. But… why is it familiar?_'

Itachi made a mental list of who it could possibly be.

'_It can't be Sasuke's, so who else could it be? It's not Hidan's or Kakuzu's, nor is it Sasori's. Is it Deidara? No, not quite…explosive enough. Orochimaru and Paine are dead, so it couldn't possibly be them. Same with Tobi and Kisame. It's definitely not the Sabakuno kid's either. It's not creepy enough… so who could it be? _'

During Itachi's (exceedingly long) inner monologue, he had reached the clearing in which the mysterious chakra was contained. (Somewhat morbid) Curiosity overcame caution, and after flicking a kunai and two shurikan into his hands, he entered the clearing.

Now, entering the clearing meant no protection against enemy ninja and the (now pouring) rain, so Itachi decided to make his little (unauthorized) rendezvous short. He _hated_ getting wet. For goodness sakes, he should have been a freakin' were_cat,_ not a werewolf.

Having shaken himself out of his thoughts (again..), Itachi edged around the, well, _edge_ of the clearing and made his slow, edgy way to a lump of white and red cloth. Crouching down, he picked up a stick and poked it. The thing let out a soft cry of pain, and curled up into a ball. He poked it again. It curled up tighter. Damn. Whatever it was, it was still alive. And mumbling words in some strange dialect…

"Помощь… не позволяйте им получать меня! Это повреждает... НЕТ!!!!!!(1)"

Slightly alarmed, both at the words and the familiar-yet-strange chakra, Itachi took a step back. Then took a step forward. And another step forward. He knelt beside… whatever it was, gently grabbed it by the shoulders (maybe), and flipped it over. Golden hair fell in front of (rather exotic) features contorted in pain. Six black whisker scars were made to stand out even more by the now pale skin.

'_Satisfied, Curiosity?_'

Itachi's it was now a he. And his name was Naruto Uzumaki.

Itachi Uchiha, one of the most powerful ninja ever, was shocked speechless. Naruto Uzumaki, _Naruto Uzumaki,_ was lying on the ground before him, beaten within an inch of his life. Naruto Uzumaki, the 15-year-old carrier of the Kyuubi. Naruto Uzumaki, who had kicked _his_ ass for hurting emo-king-of-the-year Sasuke.

Damn.

Now, Itachi could have done three different things. He could have left Naruto, and forgot that this ever happened, he could have taken him back to Konoha, or he could have taken him back to Akatsuki lair.

Itachi spent all of three seconds deciding what he should do. And took another three seconds to do the opposite.

Itachi picked up the soggy, limp form and took off towards the Akatsuki lair.

For some reason, the state the boy was in… bothered him.

______________________AKATSUKI LAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_________________________________

"Sasori-dannaaaaaaa!! Where are youuuuuuuu!!!"

Sasori careened around the corner, jumped over the kitchen counter, took a few seconds to make hush sounds at the startled Kimimarou, and hid inside the kitchen cabinet.

"Danna- Oh! Hi Kimimarou-chan!! Have you seen Sasori-danna? "

Sasori held his breath and hoped the newest addition to Akatsuki decided to be nice today.

"A-anou, sumimasen, Deidara-san. I- I have not s-seen him today.."

Well, lucky him….

"Awww, too bad. I wanted to play today."

"Su-sumimasen.."

"Ekk! Calm down! S'not your fault he ran off!"

"Aahn."

"See ya later!!"

And with that, Deidara launched himself towards the door with another deafening cry of "Sasori-dannaaaaaaaa!!!!!"

Sasori exited the cramped cupboard slowly, incase Deidara decided to traumatize poor Kimimarou some more.

"Thanks, Kimi. I don't think I can deal with him right now…"

"I-If you do not mind me asking, w-why are you hiding from him?"

"….."

"O-oh…"

"No duh."

Sasori slowly moved his way towards the entrance, hoping to make it out alive. One step.. then another… and another… and-

"There you are!"

Damn.

"Hidan said he was lookin' for ya! Why did ya' hide from me?"

Deidara had the cutest expression on his face… just like a puppy.

"…."

Sasori just stared.

"Party pooper. He was lookin' a little… well, I'd hurry if I were you…"

"Do you know what he requires of me?"

"Nope!"

He looked incredibly pleased with that statement, as if he had just come up with the concept of gravity. He was such an idiot. But he was a _cute_ idiot. And really, he wasn't that much of an idiot, he just… hid himself. A lot.

"Looked like some sort'a training incident, though…"

Ah.

Sasori nodded.

"Alright. I'll leave now. Thank you."

"Welcome Sasori-danna!"

As Sasori walked through the halls, he thought. He thought about what sort of stupid accident Hidan had gotten himself into, what the answer of life was, and what he might have for dinner, but mostly, he thought about Deidara.

He thought about the way he talked, _with that ridiculous accent of his_, and the way he moved_, the perfect sway of his hips_, the way he laughed, _like music to his ears_, the colour of his hair, _that perfect golden shade_, everything.

He thought of life with Deidara, and smiled. He thought of life without him, and could barely breathe. But most often, he found himself thinking,

"_Should I tell him? Should I entrust Deidara with the most important secret in my life?"_

He thought again about what would happen if he were to _lose_ him, and shuddered.

"_No. I will keep it, if only for a while longer"_

A little while longer. Every time he walked this little loop in his head, he said to himself ,"_A little while longer." _ Exactly how much longer? How much longer could he continue hiding? He didn't think he had felt so much… _emotion_ in his entire life! He'd better stop this train of thought before he became too depressed to walk. And he was already at Hidan's door anyways. Ah, well. He could always depress himself some more later, right?

He knocked on the door.

"Hidan? Deidara said you had some sort of training accident. I'm here to sew back on any limbs that have been-"

The door opened. Hidan stood halfway behind it, face turned to one side.

"Come in."

Sasori stepped inside, and Hidan shut the door behind him. Face still tilted to one side, he asked, "He was correct."

"I can't heal it if I can't see it. Come on, it can't be that bad, can it?"

Sasori grabbed Hidan's face in his hands and turned it towards him, taking note of the slight flinch and filing it away for later.

He paused.

"That didn't come from a training accident."

"Of course it did, where else would it come from, I mean, it's not as if I go around paying random people to hit me, it was a training-"

"Did Kakuzu hit you again?"

Sasori said, abruptly cutting off Hidan's half-hearted rambling.

"N-no! Of course not! Why would Kazu do something like that?"

"I'm no idiot, Hidan. Sometimes, you limp. Sometimes, you have bruises on your face, neck, wrists… "

"…"

"Kimimarou told me. He sees everything, you know that. He was worried about you."

"He sees…"

"Obviously. Now come here and let me heal that. We never know when Deidara might come bursting through the-"

"Sasori!"

"Told you."

Deidara launched himself through the doorway, eyes wide.

"It's Itachi!!"

"Did he get injured on the hunt?"

"No, but he's got Naruto Uzumaki with him, and he's badly injured! He asked, well, demanded both of you!"


	2. Ch2

**I realized that I forgot something very important in the first chapter *is being held at gunpoint by lawyers…* The only things that are mine in this story are the computer with which I am typing, and the (non-existent) plot. Now the rabid lawyers won't sue me. Yay.**

Itachi kicked in the door to the not-so-hidden Akatsuki Lair and hurried inside. He laid Naruto ( for the white bundle of cloth had been identified as such) down on the couch and turned to meet Kimimarou as he ran in from the kitchen.

"I-I **saw** the whole th-thing. D-do you w-want m-m-me-"

"Yes, and hurry! He's lost a lot of blood… I…I don't know how much longer he'll last."

"O-on it."

Kimimarou rushed out of the room, presumably to find Sasori and Hidan, who were the healers of the small band. While he was waiting for them, Itachi busied himself with basic healing jutsu, just enough to scab over the worst of the cuts to prevent them from bleeding. As he was working, he heard a soft moan coming from the teenager. Blue eyes fluttered open and stared at him blankly, filled with pain and confusion.

"Wh-what? Where a-am-"

The sound of harsh coughing filled the room. Blood spattered on the blonde one's lips, and he fell silent. But those eyes, those crystal, ocean-blue eyes, they were still open and looking at him. Naruto stared at him, asking questions with his eyes that he could not ask with his mouth.

"Congratulations. You are the first non-member who has had the privilege of entering the oh-so-secret Akatsuki Lair. Now, before you scream and run away, no, we are not cannibals, we will not eat you. And you probably wouldn't make a very filling meal anyways. Although, some of the lesser-behaved members just might have a little nibble. If you have any complaints about the way this _beautiful_ establishment is run, and that includes the nibbling…please submit said complains, in writing, to the overflowing Complaint Box in the corner. We'll get to you eventually. "

Itachi was trying best he could to lighten the situation, and Naruto could tell. He let out a soft laugh that turned into a cough.

"Seeing as I am a sucky healer, and you currently have about three holes in your lungs, I suggest you shut up for now." Naruto nodded. That made sense; after all, it's not like if he had an objection he could just walk out. No, he would do better to just listen to the crazy people now. For they must be undeniably crazy if, after all he'd done to them and to their little organization (XIII :P), they were helping him now.

At that moment, Sasori and Hidan ran into the room. Itachi waved them over and they set to work assessing the damage and working out how to fix it.

Itachi watched as they were doing this, saying, "I've already done some of the basic healing jutsu I know to stop the bleeding. He's awake now, but I've advised him not to talk."

Sasori started to pull some of the torn-up white clothing off of his patient.

"Have you any assessment on his injuries?"

"There's a lot of damage. There are deep cuts on most of his body, and his right arm is broken in three places. I think his left shoulder is dislocated, and he has three holes in his lungs that might have been caused by that new weapon they're developing. I think it's called a-a.. darn what is it??-Ah! It's a _gun-nu. _(A/N:Remember, Itachi is Japanese and is pronouncing an English word.) There are cuts all over his face, too. I haven't even seen the rest of him yet. Plus, he probably has a fever from being outside in the rain. God, I'm kinda surprised the poor kid's _alive_, much less awake. "

"I agree. We won't be able to heal him all at once. It puts too much strain on his body and his chakra, not to mention that it would be detrimental to our own health. We'll start out by figuring out just how many injuries he actually has, then heal the most life-threatening ones first. Can you help me with this, Hidan?"

Both Hidan and Sasori removed the ruined clothing off of Naruto, and set about documenting the injuries. Many minutes later, Sasori looked up from his work and to Itachi.

"The final list comes to this; starting at the head, he has a mild concussion, his left zygomatic bone is fractured, there are several lacerations to the face and neck, as well as severe bruising. The cornea of his left eye is scratched, which might result in blindness… moving down to the thoracic area, the fourth, fifth, and sixth ribs are fractured, as though they were stepped on, he has three perforations in his lungs, from which we removed small, oval-shaped pieces of lead, second-degree burns, lacerations, and severe bruising on his chest… Left shoulder joint is dislocated, and he has third degree burns up his entire left arm… right clavicle is fractured, as well as the humerous, and the ulna has a compound fracture… Luckily, neither of the femur bones were damaged, but there are compound fractures to both tibias."

"… English?" (Poor Itachi does not understand complicated medical jargon…)

"The kid got the shit beat outta him."

"Thank you Hidan."

"Welcome. We're gonna start out by healin' the ribs an' the holes in 'is lungs, then we're goin' to move on to the right arm. After healin' that, we're gonna heal his eye, then all the compound fractures and the third degree burns. We'll wait a couple a' days, then move on to the lesser injuries."

Sasori joined in.

"If Naruto is willing, we would like to start immediately."

The boy in question nodded, and the room was filled with the green glow of healing chakra. Itachi left them to their work, and wandered into the kitchens, were he was accosted by a worried Deidara.

"Ishegonnabealright?? Isheisheishe-"

"What?"

"Is-he-going-to-be-all-right??"

"Sasori and Hidan are working on him now."

"He'll be fine, then."

"Physically, yeah, but whoever did this to him has been doing it for a while. His mental and emotional health… I'm not sure about."

"Well, he'll fit right in then. Isn't that what we are? One big, mentally disturbed family?"

"… Yeah. Ok."

**I'm sorry it's not very long, but I have Christmas break, so I will be typing more (hopefully).**

**I forgot to translate the Russian (because that's what it was) on the previous page. Basically, it means "No, stop, help me please…NO" I'm not really sure, because I kinda did it by memory, but I think that's what it says. And in case you didn't recognize the description, those oval shaped things were bullets. **


	3. Ch3

Three hours later, Sasori, supporting a semi-conscious Hidan, made his way towards the kitchens, where he helped him into a chair. Itachi looked up.

"Will he be alright?"

Sasori sighed.

"He still has several injuries that we will have to leave for another day, but he is stable. He probably won't wake up for a couple of days, though."

"And Hidan?"

"He's younger than me, and less experienced with healing. He's fine, just exhausted."

Kimimarou entered the room, took one look at the occupants, and immediately set about making coffee. He set down a cup in front of all three men, and sat down. Hidan took one look at the cup's contents, downed the whole thing in one gulp, and fell forwards. Sasori winced at the loud crack, looked at Kimimarou, then at Hidan.

"Can you help him up to his room? If he tries to get there himself, he'll just pass out in some hallway."

"Y-yes, s-sir."

"Sasori."

"Wh-what?"

"I thought we started using names, Kimimarou. My name is Sasori. Remember?"

"S-s-sor-r-"

A quiet voice came from one of the chairs.

"Ya don't have ta' keep apologiz'n, either. Sasori's jus' pissy when he's tired. "

"O-ok… Y-you should p-p-probably get to b-bed now, H-hidan. I-I'll help you ..."

Kimimarou stood up and helped Hidan out of his chair.

" 'M fine, Kimi-chan. I can walk myself up t' my room."

Kimimarou's face was bright red.

'_H-he called m-m-me Kim-mi-chan!'_

Sasori looked at Hidan skeptically.

"You really think you can walk yourself all the way up to your room, don't you? I bet you can't even make it to the kitchen door. You would do well in accepting Kimimarou's offer, Hidan."

" 'M fine, really! Besides, I think that chair there was already pretty damn comfy, so I don' really wanna move upstairs…"

"If you sleep in that chair you'll get a crick in your neck. Now accept help like a good little boy and go upstairs to bed. Now."

"Fine, fine… Geez, keep your freakin' panties on… We're goin'… Come on, Kimi-chan…"

Kimimarou, once again, did a very convincing impersonation of a tomato. He wrapped one of his arms around Hidan's waist while Hidan swung one of his arms around Kimimarou's shoulders. Sasori watched them leave the kitchen and turned to Itachi with an evil smirk on his face.

"Kimimarou is so fun to torture, is he not? "

Itachi looked on with a slightly scared look on his face.

"You are terrifying."

"I try. Itachi, when you were sent on that undercover mission to Konoha, did you notice anything unusual?"

"Well, I was kind of paying more attention to the fact that I was technically _possessed_, so no. Why?"

"The child, though, you probably wouldn't consider someone his age a child, shows signs of previous abuse. A lot of it."

Itachi looked up from his coffee.

"I don't remember anything particular from that mission, but before… before all that crazy shit started happening, I noticed a kid who looked like him at Sasuke's school. I asked him who it was, and he told me he was a demon, and the teacher got mad when he tried to talk to him."

"You think it could be the same kid? The demon part sounds right, I mean, he is the carrier of the Kyuubi…"

"Can't be. I mean, wouldn't they love him for that? For keeping the monster away…. away from…. Oh."

"Congratulations, Mr. Uchiha, you've won five points!"

"So, they think he_ is_ the Kyuubi…"

"Yes. Which brings me back to my second point. He is one of us."

"One of- No! That's impossible! None of us have bit- No!"

"He has the Mark, Itachi. It's undeniable."

Itachi shook his head, cursing all the while.

"Which one of us has Cursed him?"

"The signature isn't familiar. I don't think it was one of us."

"So. There are more little 'Children of Luna' wandering around? "

"No."

"Then what! How could he be like us!"

"The Mark is centered around-"

"Bite-marks? We know that, Sasori. What we don't know is-"

"Itachi! Calm down and listen! The Mark is centered around two puncture wounds. They were probably made by some kind of needle."

"Someone inject- someone _injected_ the curse into him? But- but why? Why would someone _do_ that? What would the point be?"

"Why don't you ask me instead of wildly speculating amongst yourselves?"

Both of the Akatsuki members whirled around at the sound of the harsh voice, only to see the subject of their discussion glaring at them through blonde bangs. Naruto leaned against the doorframe, panting slightly from the pain.

"Well? Any questions?"

They both stared at him in shock.

"Come now, I know I'm hot, but_ really_, I can't have shocked you speechless that fast! And look! Your jaws have dropped! How cute!"

At this, Itachi snapped his mouth shut and glanced away, his face vying with Kimimarou's for the prize of 'Best Imitation of a Tomato'. Sasori, on the other hand, continued to stare at Naruto with an awestruck look on his face.

"You, Uzumaki Naruto, are a medical miracle! You weren't even supposed to wake up for another three days, much less be moving around!"

"Sorry, didn't exactly get the memo 'bout that."

"I don't care! Get back in bed this **instant**!"

Naruto stared at him in shock.

"Now, why would you care whether I was in bed or not?"

Sasori marched over to Naruto and glared at him.

"Because, right now, you are my patient. Moving around will only aggravate the injuries that we've already healed, and making the ones we haven't worse. Now get your scrawny, underfed ass back in bed before I put it there myself!"

Itachi looked at the proceedings with humour.

"Naruto, if I were you, I'd go. He's not kidding…"


	4. Ch4 I know, original, aint it?

Oh My God!!! I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything! My Word is down and I'm using a temporary fix right now. I'll try to post really often to make up for that!  
Thaks goes to... *drumroll*  
Ichigofan01,  
Kuragari Rya Eovin SuicideAngel1369 (nice number)  
You Can Run But You Can't Hide,  
DementedxAngelxx,  
XWeirdLover23X,  
TrainReckX,  
myself, sadly.  
Foxxy1st,  
AnsemMesna,  
and Dusk Raider

You guys ROCK!!!! I'm suprised, I always thought my writing sucked... ///_^0 ~*~*~*~*~*~*$$$~*~*~*~*~*~*$$$~*~*~*~*~*~*$$$~*~*~*~*~*~*$$$~**~*~*~*~*~*$$$~*~*~*~*~*~*$$$~*~*~*~

"So... are you going to ask me those questions now?"

Naruto was now sitting up with a very pissed off Sasori glaring at him from the foot of the bed.

"First off, I would like to point out the fact that you should _still be unconscious_..."

Naruto looked at him with big, innocent, wide blue eyes.

"But, Sasori-chan... I'm a _medical miracle_!" He said, in an imitation of those horrible, horrible Uchiha fangirls...

Sasori's eye twitched. Violently. Itachi just looked scared...

"For the sake of all my hard work, I am going to ignore that last bit. Explain. Now."

"Nuh-uh, no way! If I'm gonna explain, I want an explanation too!"

Itachi looked at him curiously.

"What kind of explanation?"

"Uuummm... How about we start out with the fact that I'm A) Not dead, B) Not strapped to some freaky-ass statue with you guys trying to suck out the damn furball-"

Itachi burst out laughing.

"What? What's so damn funny?!"

"You... Kyuubi.... evil, nine-tailed demon... _furball_!"

And there went all of Itachi's self-control. Poor, poor Itachi...

"Fine. Quid pro quo, then? A question for a question."

Trust Sasori to be the smart one...

"That's agreeable. I'll go first. Hmmm, how about 'What the hell?!' Is that a legitimate question?"

Sasori lifted an eyebrow.

"Be a little more specific?"

"Ok. What the hell is with the random personality changes? I mean, last time I met up with you, you were trying to kill me, and now your here being almost, dare I say it... civil? Not evil? Nice?!"

Itachi had calmed down and was now standing next to Sasori.

"There is an explanation... but it's complicated. Itachi? I think you'd better..."

Itachi sighed and sat down on the end of the bed.

"Well, this sucks... Sasori, you should probably make sure Deidara doesn't kill himself... I'll answer the questions..."

"Alright. I shall return."

Sasori turned on his heel and walked out of the room, presumably to find Deidara and inform him of Naruto's condition. Naruto stared after him with wide eyes.

"Dude..."

Itachi looked at him.

"What?"

"He totally acts like one of those cheesy bad guys from one of Ero-sennin's novels..."

Itachi just stared at him.

"Ahem! Ok! How about those damn explanations?"

Itachi sighed and stared out the window.

"Akatsuki started out as a haven for those who either weren't welcome in a village or wanted better. Personally, I don't really know why some of the other members joined at first, but for me, well..."

"The Uchiha Massacre."

_A butterfly, red and black in colour, landed on the window sill. Itachi watched as it fluttered it's wings slightly._

"... I didn't... I..."

"You didn't kill them."

_Both Naruto and Itachi watched as the butterfly's wings stilled..._

"No. It was Orochimaru under a henge. They wouldn't deal with him. He wanted me. They were willing to give him Sasuke, but..."

_The butterfly twiched its wings, but made no move to fly away._

"I always thought he was a greedy bastard."

A bitter smirk grew on Itachi's face, making the lines appear more prominent and morphing his face to look much older than his 20 years.

"That he was. Of course, the village was already suspicious because of the whole Shunsui ordeal- he really did commit suicide, by the way- so to them, the logical conclusion was, well, me. And we both know how that turned out. I went and joined Akatsuki."

_The butterfly made as if to take off, but only made it to the other side of the sill before landing._

"At first, it was good. We did missions, of course, but the main focus was money, not world domination. Then, Pein joined. He killed the previous leader and took over. None of us realized exactly what that meant."

_The silence was heavy_.

"What did it mean?"

_Red met blue..._

"Pain. Humiliation. Loss of control. I think that was the worst part. When we refused to help, he used a jutsu similar to the Yamanaka Kekkei Genkai to control us. To put it lightly, it sucked."

_Naruto snorted. Itachi just looked back out the window. The butterfly was still there._

"That only changed recently. We actually have Kimimarou to thank for our freedome..."

_Such unusual colouring... beautiful, yes, but strange..._

"How?"

"Hidan found him. He was out wandering around and stumbled across him, much like how I found you. It turns out that Orochimaru found out about his illness, which Sasori was able to partially cure, and decided that he wasn't useful as a fighter anymore. He turned him into an experiment and..."

"And what?"

"Pretty much a personal sex-toy. One of the experiments gave him his gift, and another his curse."

_It was fluttering again..._

"The gift was Sight."

Didn't the poor thing know it was futile?

"Kimimarou gained the ability to see past, present, and future images in water, and the ability to see through the eyes of animals. That was his Gift."

_Wings beat erratically, frantic and desperate._

"The curse... Luna's Gift. Lycanthropy."

_Blue and red watched as the butterfly died._

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

... Dear God, that was depressing...

BTW, I love spell check. I'm sorry it was so short, but I'm gonna try to post up antother chapter tomorrow, and it's already 1:50. Ja ne, minna.


	5. Ch5

HI! I said I was gonna try to post ASAP so... Here ya go!

"OHMYGODWHAT'SGOIN'ONISHEOKOHMYGODHE'SDEAD!!WE'REALLGONNADIEOHMYGODIDUNWANNADIEOHMYGOD!!!"

As soon as Sasori had exited the room he was accosted by a very worried Deidara.

"Itachi is talking to him, he's perfectly fine, no, he's not dead, you're not dead either. Sit down, shut up, and calm down."

Deidara clapped his hands over his mouth and plopped down on the nearest chair.

"Are... are you ok, danna?"

Sasori thumped his head down on the kitchen table. Multiple times.

"No." _Thump._ "I'm not." _Thump_ "It's driving me crazy." _Thump._

Deidara stared at him.

"... Danna? What is?"

_Thump._ "Just... the implications."

Sasori stopped trying to kill brain cells and sighed.

"When Itachi found him, he was beaten very badly. I'm suprised he's actually alive. He has it too, you know. Luna's Gift..."

Deidara gasped and his eyes widened.

"But... Danna! I haven't bitten anyone! I haven't! I swear!!"

Sasori slammed his head back down on the table.

"I know. Someone injected it into him," he said, words slightly muffled by the table.

"No no no! Why!? Danna... why are they so... what did he do to them?!"

He was crying.

_'Oh Deidara... look what you do to me... Trun me into a sentimental pile of you, that you will...'_

"Come here, brat."

Sasori gathered Deidara into his arms and held him close.

"I don't know why people do the things they do. I'm not a person, remember? But I do know that we will help him, right?"

Deidara looked up at him.

"H-hai, Danna. We will!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **Ahhh, The Torture of Kimimarou. So fun...**

"H-hidan, c-c-come on, y-you ha-ave t-t-t-"

Kimimarou was trying (trying being the key word) to get Hidan to his room. Hidan, on the other hand, was trying to go to sleep. Needless to say, Hdan was winning.

"Eh, whatev'r. C'mere, Fluffy. 'M not gonna bite... hard..."

Kimimarou, once again, could have passed of his face as a tomato.

"H-h-hid-dan! S-sas-sor-r-ri s-s-said t-to-"

"Don' care! I'm tired, you're fluffy, hallway's warm. Now c'mere, dammit!"

Hidan grabbed Kimimarou's wrist and pulled hard enough to knock him over. He then proceeded to wrap his arms around Kimimarou's waist and use him as a pillow.

"H-h-h-h-hi-d-d-d-a-an!!!"

"Eh, stoppit. 'M tryin' ta sleeeeeeep!"

**Meanwhile, in Kimimarou's brain....**

"Oh my gad!"

"Overload! Overload!"

"ABANDON SHIP!!!"

**Back in the real world....**

"Hehe.. yer kinda cute when ya look like a tomato, Kimi-fluffy!"

Kimimarou's face could now make a fire truck jealous.

"Hidan! What are you doing!"

Kakuzu had rounded the corner, and he was now standing in front of Kimimarou and Hidan.

"K-k-kakuzu! C-can y-y-you-"

_Crack._

"Don't touch what isn't yours, bitch."

Kimimarou raised his hand to his face, shocked. Kakuzu had... hit him?

"Bastard! 'E was jus' helpin' me! Possessive, self-centered retard! Don' go 'round hittin' m' friends!"

Kakuzu grabbed him roughly by the arm and started dragging him down the hallway.

"What did I tell you about your _friends_, Hidan? They're _worthless_! _Just like YOU_!"

Kimimarou stared after them, then lifted himself to his feet and set off down the hallway.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"S-sasor-r-r-ri!"

Kimimarou burst into the kitchen, panting heavily.

"K-k-k-ka-k-"

"Kimimarou! Calm down. Breathe, slowly. Now, what's going on?"

"I-I w-was helping H-h-hidan t-to his room a-and K-k-ka-kuzu t-t-took him a-a-a-nd he looked r-r-really a-angry!"

"Shit."

"...D-danna? Is Hidan in trouble?"

"Yes. Big trouble. Kimimarou, can you See him?"

"N-n-n-o... I c-can't See a-anything! I-it's a-almost like... h-he found...a w-way t-t-to shut off... m-my Gift? B-but... t-that's i-impossible!"

Sasori placed Deidara on the chair next to him.

"I'm going to go get Itachi. Try and find where they are, Kimimarou. Deidara, go find Zetsu."

"Are we..."

"Yes. We're banning Kakuzu from the pack, once and for all."

~$%~$~$~$~$$~~$~5&~$~~$~$~$~&~$~$~$~&$~$~$~&~$~~7~$~$$$$~$$~~&~$~~&~$$~~$~~&$~&~$~~&$~&~$~&~$~&~$~&~$~~&~$~^&$~^~~$~

Okies, well, that's it. I know... I feel horrible... It's so short! ///. I'll try to post up more, quicker, though! Thanks goes to.

Kit572

Kuragari Rya

Akatsuki-Tenshi-Kitsune

And whoever else reviews.

You guys are cool. Free Cuddle!Deidara and Sasori plushes for you!


	6. Ch6

Okies. Next chapter...

"Itachi. Naruto. We require your presence."

Both Itachi and Naruto looked away from the window and stared at Sasori.

"For what?"

"We are banning Kakuzu from the Pack. For good, this time."

Itachi quickly stood up and made his way over to the door. Naruto stared at Sasori

"What do you need me for? And what's going on?"

"You are a part of Akatsuki Pack now. Weres traditionally run with the closest group or Pack, and since we are the only Pack for about three hundred miles, you are a part of Akatsuki Pack now. In order to ban a Pack member, we need all of the other members of the Pack to be at the banning."

"O-kay... but who's Kakuzu and why are you.. are we banning him?" Naruto asked, confused.

"Kakuzu is being banned because he is displaying character traits that are... unwanted in a Pack. He broke guidelines, therefore he does not belong."

"Ummm, what guidelines did he break? And what the hell is the banning anyways?!"

"He deliberately caused harm to two other Pack member. The banning is just preventing him from being on Pack territory. Basically, we're kicking him out."

Itachi looked to Sasori.

"So we were right? He really is abusing Hidan?"

Sasori nodded.

"He also hit Kimimarou. Hard enough to cause a minor fracture."

Itachi's eyes narrowed and he gave one of the scariest death glares Sasori and Naruto had ever seen.

"That's it. He. Is. Screwed."

Sasori and Naruto glanced at each other then at Itachi as he stormed out of the room.

"Dude... I'm kinda feeling a little sorry for this Kakuzu..."

Sasori glared at the wall.

"Don't be. He deserves evrything Itachi gives him and more. Kimimarou is like... Akatsuki's baby. Everyone is overprotective when it comes to him. I'd be more worried about what happens when Zetsu finds out. Kimimarou is almost like Zetsu's little brother. Kakuzu...well, there probably won't be much left."

"This Kakuzu dude, he should totally be runnin' the opposite direction, right?"

"Totally."

$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$&~$7~$&

"ZEEETTTSSSUUU-UUUUNNNN!!!!!!!!"

Said man sat up straight, groaned, then fell out of bed.

"**Damn you. Just damn you**."

Deidara looked at him, wide-eyed, and started to giggle.

"Haha! You were dreamin' again, un! Yes you were! Was it a _good_dream, un? Huh? Was it? Was it? Oohh! I know! It was about him, wasn't it, un! You got a crush on the big, bad alpha! So cute,un! "

Zetsu picked himself up off the floor and glared. No, he didn't glare, he Glared, almost Glared enough to make Deidara spontaneously combust. Though, it wouldn't really be spontaneous.... Maybe he would just eat him. That would work.

"**We are going to eat you. But first, we will tourture you, and then we'll eat you. _Alive_**."

"Now, now, I'm sure he didn't mean too, he couldn't have known!"

"**I don't give a damn. I'm gonna eat him anyway."**

Deidara watched with a terrified expression on his face.

"I have a good reason, un! PLEASE don't eat me, un!"

Zesu looked over at deidara, one eyebrow raise.

"**I'm giving you twenty seconds. If you're not out of my room by then, the exploding tag under your feet will go off, and I'll have Barbequed Barbie for breakfast**."  
(A/N: Dude, tonugetwister...)

"OHMYGODUN!SASORISAIDINEEDEDTOGETYOUBECAUSEWENEEDALLTHEMEMBERSOFTHEPACK'CAUSEWE'REGONNAKICKOUTKAKUZUDON'TEATMEBYEUN!"

Zetsu watched him race out of the room with poorly hidden amusement all over his face.

"Do you have any idea what he said?"

"**Not a damn clue."**

!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~$^*)+!#%&(_~

When Zetsu walked into the kitchen, he was greeted with a rather unusual sight. No, it was not Deidara actually sitting still for once. Kimimarou was sitting at the table staring into a bowl of water. All the members of the Akatsuki Pack, including the blonde kid Itachi picked up out of nowhere, were standing around him. Sasori glanced up from the water to look at Zetsu.

"We need your help."

"With what?"

"**What the hell's going on**?"

"We are banning Kakuzu. He's gone too far this time."

"What has he done?"

"**Can I eat him**?"

"Before, we thought he was hurting Hidan, but we had no proof. Now though, not only do we have proof, but he's also hit Kimimarou."

Everyone in the room stilled. Kimimarou looked up from the bowl of water and showed them the dark, purplish-black bruise that marred his cheek.

"I healed the fracture, but the bruise is going to have to go away on it's own."

Zetsu turned on his heel and started to stomp out of the kitchen.

"**That's it. I'm gonna eat him. I don't give a damn about the freakin' pack rules, I'm gonna freakin' eat him**!"

Sasori reached forward and grabbed Zetsu's arm, preventing him from leaving.

"No. Not now. We need you to help boost Kimimarou's power. Kakuzu's taken Hidan somewhere and he's using some kind of Sightblocker. Kimimarou needs you right now."

Zetsu stayed silent, but walked behind Kimimarou's chair and placed his hands on Kimimarou's shoulders.

"**Kimi, you have to focus, remember? Try focusing on Hidan, not Kakuzu. I'll feed you power to try to break the blocker, alright**?"

Kimimarou nodded, and everyone felt the power levels soar. Naruto walked over to Itachi and began whispering to him.

"Mind telling me what's going on? 'Cause I have no idea."

"Kimimarou was using his power to try and locate Kakuzu and Hidan, but Kakuzu was using a blocker, something Orochimaru came up with. One of Zetsu's power is the ability to amplify other people's powers. I don't really know how he does it, it kind of just happens. Now, they're both trying to find Hidan, because Kakuzu's the one with the blocker on him."

Comprehension dawned on Naruto's face.

"Ahh, Ok. I get it now. What happens when they find him?"

"We got to them, ban Kakuzu from the pack, and Kakuzu hopes that everyone is feeling generous today, because if they're not..."

"Nasty gross ground beef made of Kakuzu?"

"Yep."

$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++$$$+++===!#===!#===!#===!#===!#===!#===!#===!#===!#===!#===!#===!#===!#

"K-kazu? What'r you doin'! Get-off-me!"

Smack!

"Shut up, bitch. I told you, You. Are. Mine. No one else's. Mine, and mine alone."

"Oh, lay off it, you horomonal, egotistical, possessive, self-centered bastard! I have my own life!"

"Not anymore."

"What- what are you-don't! Get that away from me!"

"Hehe... what, the dog doesn't want his master's collar? Too bad."

Kakuzu hit Hidan over the head hard enough to stun him, but not enough to knock him out. He buckled a heavy, thick collar around Hidan's neck and attached a leash to it.

"I thought I told you I wasn't ever going to let you go!"

_'Oh god, someone find me please...'_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*******************************************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********************************************

"Z-zetsu... I d-don't th-think I c-c-can find him..."

Zetsu shook his head and wrapped his arms around Kimimarou's shoulders.

"**Don't think like that, Kimi. Just focus on finding him. We will find him."**

Kimimarou flinched back, but relaxed and leaned into the embrace.

"**We will find him, Kimi. We will find him, otouto**."

##################################################################################%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

"Sasori-danna, un?"

Sasori glanced over to where Deidara was fidgeting in his chair.

"What?"

"Will... will Hidan be ok, un?"

_'Deidara... I don't know...'_

"I'm sure he'll be fine. We will find him soon, Deidara."

"Ok, Sasori-danna, un."

_'Honestly... I really don't know...'_

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^******************************************************************************************************************************

Naruto looked around at all the people gathered in the kitchen. Zetsu had his arms wrapped around Kimimarou, who looked scared. Sasori was leaning against Deidara, and he looked exhausted. Deidara was obviously trying not to move too much but nervousness was making him twitchy. Itachhi was sitting next to him, and he looked about ready to pass out.

"What is going on?"

Itachi sighed and placed his head in his hands.

"Kakuzu, the evil, abusive bastard, has apparently kidnapped Hidan. We are not sure whether we will get him back alive."

"Can't you just go all wolfy and find him by scent?"

"Kakuzu is an exellent tracker. He knows what to do. We would be stuck running around in circles for hours."

"Ah."

"Now we wait. If Kimimarou and Zetsu can't find him, then we probably never will."

"O.k."

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((__)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Kimimarou shot out of his chair and out the door. Sasori stared after him.

"Zetsu?"

"**We found them**."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#####################$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$%%%%%%%%%%%%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^&&&&&&&&&&&&&*************(((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))______________

Ok, authors note time! **I have a VOTE people**, so can you read this?

Ok, Do you want me to post up a chapter of mini profiles, to see what their powers are and what they look like in wolf form? Or do you just wanna find out whenever I remember to add it in?

Yes, I want Profiles- current zero

No, I wanna fid out randomly- current zero

Ja ne, minna!


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